21. Januar 2024

Der lang geplante Besuch meiner Eltern fiel ins Wasser — oder, besser gesagt: in den Schnee. Aus dem resultierte nämlich ein Verkehrschaos erster Güte. Nachdem sie sechseinhalb Stunden im Stau gestanden hatten, fuhren sie von der A7 ab und kehrten kurz hinter Bad Homburg um. Im März wollen sie es wieder probieren, dann vielleicht mit dem Zug, falls die Gewerkschaften nicht wieder zum Streik aufrufen. Glück im Unglück: Dank der plötzlich frei gewordenen Zeit konnte ich den neuen Zhgulyov-Roman fertig übersetzen und bei der Arbeit spontan einen Dienst tauschen.
Am Donnerstag war ich in einem meiner Lieblingsrestaurants, dem Avobowl in der Rue du Fossé-des-Tanneurs, und ließ mir den Avocado-Salat schmecken. Ich guckte mir einen alten Disney-Film an, hörte Lisa Eckhart vorm Einschlafen und fühlte mich wie der glücklichste Mensch auf Erden, weil ich in dieser wunderbaren Stadt einschlafen und aufwachen darf. Die kommenden Tage habe ich frei; im MAMCS ist noch bis Anfang Februar die Exposition »Aux Temps du SIDA« zu sehen. Im Kino war ich 2024 auch noch nicht. Vor allem aber will und muss ich mich »A Perfect Stranger« widmen. (Das übliche Problem: Geld!) Ab Februar warten auch noch zwei neue Übersetzungsaufträge mit Deadlines im Mai und Juli auf mich. Meine Tage müssten eigentlich 48 Stunden haben.

Viel Neues gibt es eigentlich nicht. Wir haben einen klaren, eisigen Himmel hier im Elsass. Die Stadt ist beinahe leergefegt. Nach den Touristenfluten im Dezember eine wahre Wohltat, mit dem Rad unbekümmert durch die Stadt zu fahren oder Spaziergänge am Nachmittag zu machen. Zwei Jahre nach seinem Tod fehlt Chelito mehr denn je…
Ians Film, Ende 2015 begonnen, wird wohl nicht mehr fertig. Die Festplatten mit dem Material sind bei irgendeinem Cutter in Berlin versumpft, und er ist zu träge, um sie sich zurückzuholen. Wir haben 2018 und 2019 gedreht, in das Projekt sind an die 70.000 Euro geflossen. Ian hat zurzeit andere Sorgen: Die Peru-Reise, die morgen losgeht, und die Scheidung, die er nach weniger als fünf Monaten Ehe in die Wege geleitet hat. Es hat mich lange betrübt, dass dieser begabte, kluge Mann nicht vorankam in seiner künstlerischen Entwicklung. Mit Sur les traces de ma mère hatte ich ihm damals helfen wollen. Auch in seinem Folgeprojekt unterstützte ich ihn, so gut ich konnte. Ich verschaffte ihm eine Rolle in »Glück« (Regie: Henrika Kull), aus dem er herausgeschnitten wurde. Er war tödlich beleidigt, an »A Perfect Stranger« nicht beteiligt zu sein, aber in Anbetracht all dieser Erfahrungen kann ich es mir einfach nicht leisten. Es ist ein zu wichtiges Projekt für mich, das erste seit Ende 2017.

Für »A Perfect Stranger« habe ich von Minute Taker einige Songs zur Verfügung gestellt bekommen. Seine Stimme wird so quasi zur inneren Stimme von Albert, einer der beiden Hauptfiguren. Ich bin glücklich über diese Zusage, weil Bens Musik mich schon seit Jahren begleitet und inspiriert. Sein Album »Wolf Hours« habe ich mitfinanziert — eine herrliche Erfahrung, auf die ich stolz bin, denn diese Songs haben Tiefe und Herz. Ich freue mich schon auf sein nächstes Werk.
Kommt gut und glücklich durch diesen Sonn(en)tag, genießt den Winter mit all seiner klirrenden Pracht. Seid umarmt von

André

A Perfect Stranger

»Happy Anniversary«, Albert whispered in Martin’s ear. He was deeply relaxed, lying on his stomach on the bed, having been massaged and pampered all over his body for over an hour by Albert. The weeping willows outside the large bedroom window swayed in the light morning breeze. It promised to be a windy but sunny late summer day.
Martin smiled and murmured, »You too, my darling.«
»Lie back and rest while I prepare breakfast«, said Albert as he happily left the room.
And so began their harmonious and tender sixteenth anniversary. Albert was in the kitchen, making coffee and starting to chop tomatoes and onions for the omelettes Martin loved so much. They had met shortly after the turn of the millennium in California. Martin was living in Los Angeles at the time. America had always been his great dream, and through hard work and ambition he had succeeded as an engineer in one of the world’s most renowned companies. Albert, who was then studying art history in London, had simply spent his vacations in Los Angeles, visiting a friend where he had met Martin at her house-warming party. The two hit it off immediately and slept together from the very first night. But after a short time, they realized that the concept of a long-distance relationship didn’t suit them, and Martin decided to leave California behind and return to Europe…

Graphics: Dirk Till.

These are the first lines of the English translation of my short story »A Perfect Stranger«, which will be published here in France in 2024. Shooting for the film adaptation begins in August. Sten Jacobs, Daniel Rhyder and I are playing the leads, while Léonard Lasry and Ben McGarvey aka Minute Taker are providing the music. It is a British-German-French-American co-production. I’m so looking forward to giving you more information soon. Have a smooth day, lots of love,

André

July 20, 2023

Portrait: André Schneider, actor
by Donna Averitt, Prospect Magazine, July 2023.

André Schneider’s career was not one that took off. He never became a star, he was too difficult to categorise for that: He was a stage actor, played Puck twice in London Shakespeare productions, occasionally took small guest roles in TV series and made independent films in Spain, Germany and especially in France. He is an author, writes in three languages, and briefly tried his hand at music. He would have liked to become a dancer, but was too lazy, according to his own account. As a stand-up comedian, he appeared on an English stage for the first time in May 2001. Here, too, he was an exceptional phenomenon: in transparent designer outfits, with incense sticks and bindi, he exuded a »seductive melancholy« (»Gay Times«) that was not usually found on a comedy stage. His shows were called Giving Till It Hurts, Diary of a Pu**yeater or Freaky Balls. He didn’t tell funny stories, he told stories in a funny way, the big laughs were rare, he relied more on a thoughtful smirk, on depth: »I’m as sad as a good book. Please stay with me tonight,« he said at the beginning of his first comedy show. Critics were sceptical, but praised charisma and personality. »Time Out« wrote: »He has a uniquely sexy relationship with chairs, whether he’s sitting on them with his legs spread or stretching over them supine.«

His stories were often salacious, but never vulgar. Even the funny striptease with which he used to end some of his shows seemed innocent and aggressive at the same time. When audience members were asked why they attended Schneider’s shows, they raved, »he oozes sex« or »he’s just cute, like a schoolboy«. Few talked about his wit or talent. »I was not a good stand-up comedian,« Schneider says today. »It was an artistic mistake. You have to be born for it and I never was. I wanted to try my hand and loved to communicate with people. It was better than sex.« In his last show, Slap My Balls and Call Me Mildred!, he suggested to the audience: »Let’s turn out the lights and play a round of Who’s in My Mouth? together.«

From 2007 onwards, Schneider performed less and less frequently as a stand-up comedian: in 2010 he had only three appearances, in 2012 there were twelve, and in 2015 he played a farewell tour with nine performances in London, Glasgow, Dublin and Cork.

His greatest passion is film. He wrote a dozen scripts and produced his own films, which won awards all over the world. His personal favourite film, Boulevard Voltaire, directed by Alexandre Vallès, was made in autumn 2016 and tells the story of the Paris terrorist attacks of 13 November 2015: »It’s a film that celebrates life, love and friendship, and it’s full of aesthetics and esprit. We had wonderful shooting, it was harmonious and characterised by love for the cause,« Schneider enthuses. Commercial success failed to materialise, however, and in 2018 he withdrew for the time being to study education in Berlin.

After the Corona crisis, the 45-year-old moved to his dream city of Strasbourg. He says he has always felt at home in France: »In London I was always the German, in Berlin I was always the outsider. Only the French accepted me as an individual.«

Does he miss acting? »Yes, terribly. I like being someone else for a while. You know, in private I’m sometimes horribly shy, but when I’m acting I can bite the heads off fish and masturbate in front of 800 people. Slipping into a character allows me to break the narrow confines of myself and go beyond myself.«

André Schneider is now planning his first film for 2024 since Les Fantômes, which was shot in winter 2017. It will be a »philosophical romantic comedy«, as he reports with a chuckle: »The two main characters are so wild and hungry for life, but they are also both already on the wrong side of 40, so they evaluate their lives and relationships differently than they did when they were 30. I’m looking forward to seeing this dream become reality.«